Pure ugly

My life has no art. I’m a boring, droll thing who doesn’t have a discriminating eye or mind. I’m of the mass audience. Too easily impressed. Too easily complacent, and too willing to stay in my comfort zone.

It takes someone really special to create. It takes someone who has understood the value of broader horizons and the potential of even the ugliest, unlikeliest thing to be something amazing.

Unfortunately I’m not someone like that. Even if there are millions of these someones among the billions in this world, I’m not among those millions.

But I want to be. Oh gods, I want to be.

It’s not easy to shuck aside 18 years of going through the motions of life without really thinking, seeing, and even harder to commit yourself to the kaleidoscopic world that is being artistic. It’s far too easy to take baby steps and then fall back when you’ve barely even breached the surface of this world.

Forever

MIYAMOTO THIS IS WHY YOU’LL ALWAYS BE THE NUMBER ONE GUY IN MY HEART.

You’ve brought Zelda to this world and I’ve grown up playing the series and the earliest memories of my life are of playing OoT and LTTP and words can’t express the amount of undying love I hold for this series.

The only thing I wish more than anything was to be born earlier to witness the birth of LoZ. To grow together with Zelda. To know that I was there, every single step it took towards where it stands today.

I will always love Zelda no matter what comes along in my life, and my kids will ask me “After all this time?” and I’ll smile and say “Always.”

Because even packmules get tired sometimes

Everytime my mum tells me about the ugly things going on in her workplace and how much she's suffering there, I'm filled with the urge to find a way to make money so she doesn't have to be so burdened.

I just wish I could earn a lot of money as soon as possible so she can quit her fucked up job with its fucked up people. After everything she's been through I wish I can hurry up and give her a good life or something.

But taking a part time job isn't going to help. I just gotta work harder in my schoolwork. Work harder in everything.

I think it's time I stopped living so selfishly, for myself, and started living for her when she's been living 18 years of her life for me. If there was never any better incentive to suck it up and deal with feeling uninspired and uncommitted to my course, this is it.

Snarly

Also, fuck you very much.

I don't know why it had to be the two of them, but I'm feeling very threatened now and my metaphorical hackles are being raised.

So watch it. Because I'm keeping an eye on you.

http://midgetbin.livejournal.com/

Writing Blog.

I'm seeing things out of the corner of my eye and I look at the clock at it's 4:08. I never felt the time trickle by tonight.

On unrequited like and the like

I don't mean to sound like a romantic but it really does suck liking someone you know isn't even going to think about liking you that way.

I keep thinking about How I Met Your Mother, and that episode about the Hook.

I think everyone's got someone on their hook, even while they're on someone else's hook, knowingly or unknowingly.

And sometimes, it's just the hookee's wishful thinking. Overreading into things.

/Shrug.

I'd like to say I'm highly rational and don't submit to the norms of being hooked, but I guess I am anyway.

Finality

I really don't know how to describe this mix of feelings swirling in my chest.

I guess the finality of it all hasn't hit me yet. That Harry Potter is over now. The last movie has come out. The crew has disbanded, and everyone's off to live their lives without coming back every year for the next Harry Potter movie.

And it's not just the crew. The rest of us following Harry Potter... For those who've always known this constant in their lives, who've always counted on having a Harry Potter Movie every year since forever, now that it's over, that constant is gone.

I feel like I grew up together with Harry and the gang, you know? Next to the Legend of Zelda Harry Potter is the next largest thing in my life. When I wasn't rereading the books I was online, reading Harry Potter fanfiction. Harry Potter saw me make the transition to a slash reader. Sometimes I came to school gripping Harry Potter fanfiction I wrote tightly in my hands, grinning like a maniac and practically pouncing on my group of friends the moment I got to our usual table.

I guess it's because I hang onto the past too much.

When everyone's most about moved on I'm always thinking back to the past and wishing I had a time-turner so I could go back and relive everything, make damn sure I treasured every moment spent in Secondary school more.

Now that Harry Potter has officially ended, I feel like I'm suddenly no longer a child. I feel like I've made the sudden and unwilling transition from a kid free of worldly worries into a human being who has to move on with life and keep looking forward instead of back. I feel like my childhood has just ended and now I have to pack it up into a box and keep it in the attic and take it out only from time to time to sigh nostalgically about it.

Harry Potter isn't just a series that I love and have been following and am now sad to see it go. It symbolizes my childhood as well, and every single time I think about it I remember nights in bed back in my old house, propped up in bed and reading the books and nights spent reading countless of fanfiction. I remember the Tom/Harry fic, Solipsist, which was what got me into psychology, and I remember the Marriage Stone, the Snape/Harry epic that made it to 77 chapters before suddenly being left un-updated until now. It hasn't been very long since, but it feels like forever to me.

My piano teacher was telling me how she felt old yesterday, and I asked her why. She said it was because now she's started to reminisce about her old days and wasn't that an indicator of growing old? I just blinked at her and told her, in that case, I'm old at heart because I've always kept going through my life since I could remember it like an open folder.

Or maybe I'm just an escapist and can't face up to reality. I think it's the latter, actually.

Either way, escapism or not, Harry Potter will officially end once this last movie stops showing in cinemas, and I am going to make sure I catch the last showing to get closure at last.